Guide>Time to move>ADJUSTING TO LIVING IN A CCRC

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As with moving anywhere new, you must make some adjustments to your daily life when living in a CCRC.

Adjusting quickly

Research (Ayalon and Greed, 2016) has shown that residents who thrived after moving to a CCRC were characterized by the following:

• Their transition to the CCRC was a clean break from past experiences. 
• They made the move a fresh start in their lives. They had limited contact with the outside community or with people in their old community. 
• They don’t live in the past or dwell on dreams of the future; they live in the present. They take advantage of all the activities and opportunities the CCRC offers and enjoy life to the fullest. 

Tips on adjusting

• Make it feel like home. It’s normal for new residents to not decorate and adorn their new home right away. Remember, this is your new home, make it homey. It’s not a dorm room where you’ll be moving out in nine months. 
• Be creative. Making it feel a safe, relaxing, and comfortable place to which you can retreat will speed up the adjusting process. Hang pictures of friends and family, set and decorate the table, and display all your old, familiar mementos. However, try to avoid making it look exactly like your old home; let this be a new chapter in your life, and it’s important to let your new home be just that: your new home, not a replica of your old one. 
• Be a neighbor. Don’t just wave and say, “How are you?” Introduce yourself, ask questions about their lives, find things you have in common, really get to know them. Getting to know the people who live around you allows for friendships to flourish, and the feeling of familiarity will make easing into your new home go much smoother. 
• Get involved. Avoid being a homebody and get active in the community and all its activities. Getting involved is the best way to meet other residents with similar interests, and making new friends is the key to feeling at home in a new place. Keeping yourself isolated does nothing but prevent you from experiencing your new life to the fullest, and a large percent of your monthly fee goes to the amenities offered. You might as well take advantage of them and have a good time. 
• Keeping in contact with friends and family. One of the biggest arguments against living in a CCRC stems from the fear of losing contact with close friends and family. However, it’s all about how YOU try to keep in touch. Most facilities allow your guests to visit and even stay overnight. Have your family and friends visit frequently to share meals or attend events. It is comforting and enjoyable to spend time with a familiar face. 
• Talk to the staff. It’s good to build a friendly relationship with all the staff as they’re the ones responsible for taking care of you and any problems you have with the facility. Employees see new residents move in all the time, so they most likely have some tips and ideas that would help get you better acquainted with the place. 
• Go to people. All the staff at CCRCs are helpful but there are always a few who everyone knows to go to when you need something. These people seem to know everything about how the system works and how to get things done.

Pet care

Pets are a wonderful addition to anyone’s life at any stage of life. This is also true when living in a CCRC. However, like any other time, you must be able to properly care for the pet and provide for the pet in case you are unable to provide care. If you have a pet at a CCRC, there may come a time when you:

• Become too ill, frail, or cognitively unstable to routinely care for the pet, such as keeping pet food, litter, snacks, etc. on hand or providing quality playtime time and companionship. Or you are no longer able to safely walk a dog or transport a pet to a veterinarian or groomer.
• Are hospitalized, go to rehabilitation, move to a higher level of care, or die.
• Experience financial problems and cannot afford veterinary care for the pet.

If such a time arises, you must have a plan in place to provide for your pet. In such a plan, you should:

• Identify and become acquainted with local veterinary and boarding services. 

• Identify family or friends who will care for the pet when you are unable to provide care. 
• Provide a list of the above people and their contact information to the community administrator and keep the information updated. 
• Arrange for immediate assistance by staff to enter your unit and care for a pet if you are not there. 
• Build a network of resident pet owners who will assist each other in caring for pets during short absences. 
• Contact pet assistance organizations and volunteer groups that provide food, medical/dental/grooming assistance, and dog walking. 

Types of CCRC residents

You will meet and interact with many other residents during your stay at the CCRC, each with a different outlook on life at a CCRC. Researchers studied CCRC residents and how they feel about living at a CCRC. The research found that residents may be grouped into four major types according to their view of living at a CCRC:

• Shades of gray. These residents describe their lives as a mix of good, bad, and mediocre experiences, and view the transition to a CCRC as a continuation of that pattern, so adjusting to life in a CCRC was not a problem for them. They accepted their future decline and looked to the CCRC to help them deal with their inevitable decline. Their activities and interests tend to be centered around the CCRC. 
• I finally found it. These residents view CCRC life as the life they always wanted but never had. The CCRC brings them safety, fulfillment, interest, and social engagement. They are focused on the present and the activities and opportunities the CCRC provides. They have a limited desire to explore the outside community or maintain contact with their old community and describe CCRC activities and social relationships as filling up their day. 
• Disapprover. These residents view their lives as dissatisfying and a disappointment overall past and view the transition to the CCRC as a continuation of this. While they remain physically in the CCRC, mentally they are more present in their past community, even though their prior community no longer met their needs and they had entered the CCRC willingly. 
• Still searching after all these years. These residents describe their lives as a quest for ‘something else’ that has been thus far unattainable. The CCRC is not the end of their quest, it is just another part of the quest. These residents remain future-oriented, so they do not perceive themselves as fully belonging to the CCRC; the CCRC is just another step in their quest for nirvana. 

Living among old people

In most neighborhoods, they are people of all ages, from children to aged retirees. This means you are surrounded by a variety of people at different stages of their lives and living various lifestyles.

Although CCRC residents vary in age, all the ages are toward the top end of the scale. While younger staff, volunteers, and visitors are around every day, some residents may be uncomfortable living in a community where almost everyone is retired. Being called active seniors living their golden years does not change the fact that some are just old and cranky. Not all old people are nice people; as jerks get older, they become senior jerks.

Living among the sick and frail

It is difficult to be surrounded by people who each day are and are becoming frailer, sicker, and starting to lose their memories. It’s depressing to see and it’s a constant reminder of what you must look forward to in your future; someday you will be like them. if you don’t find and make friends with the active residents and take part in the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual group activities offered by the CCRC.

If you are healthy and fit, you will be asked by frailer residents to carry things for them, open a jar lid, or to get something from a high shelf. You will be able to have stimulating conversations with people from all walks of life, but you will also have to listen to the repetitious ramblings of people with failing memories.

Living among snobs

It is expensive to live in CCRCs, so many residents are of the upper class and are used to being in charge, having anything they want, and catered to. They feel entitled. However, many residents are just ordinary people who saved and did without for most of their lives to be able to live comfortably in their senior years; they don't want to impose or be a problem.

Living with restrictions

Community living in a campus-like setting imposes certain restrictions on resident lifestyles. While you may live independently and do most anything you want to do, there are limits. There are “house rules” that are enforced to keep the peace and make the living environment enjoyable to most everyone. There will be quiet hours, parking rules, places where pets are not allowed, set cleaning schedules, specific mealtimes, etc. These rules must be standardized to work well for as many residents as possible. No matter what the CCRC does, it cannot please all the residents all the time, and some residents will never be pleased. All CCRCs have resident councils, so if you are unhappy with the rules and procedures, become active in the council. Community living demands some flexibility, tolerance, cooperation, and a good attitude.

They’re back!

Remember all the people you have had to deal with all your life at your job, your house of worship, your neighborhood, your community, on teams, and in your social groups, etc. The ones that made your life miserable and you wished you could get away from. The people who were gossips, backbiters, hypocrites, do-gooders, elitists, snobbish, greedy, entitled, stuck-up, sanctimonious, self-righteous, busybodies, tattletales, nosey, pessimistic, complainers, etc. Well, they are in CCRCs and they are worse than ever. If they ever had any self-control before, they lose it as they get older and they don’t care who they bother or offend. So be prepared.

Inspirational

Most of the people in CCRCs are there because they planned for getting old. They accept their age, and they want to make the best of the life they have left. They are active, no matter any health or physical limitations they may have. No excuses. Whatever they can do, they do. When you see these people, you can find no excuses for yourself not to do your best.

Like living on a ship

I’m retired from the U.S. Navy after 26 years of service, so I’ve lived in all types of housing all around the United States and Iceland, including 9 years of sea duty aboard 4 ships. Although I’m not living in a CCRC yet, from all my research and CRCC tours 

I have found that CCRC living is like living aboard a navy ship:

• Everyone is in the same relative age group. 
• Everything is self-contained so you seldom must go outside. 
• You live, work, eat, and perform recreational activities in the same facility with the same people every day. 
• You all eat in the same dining room and see the same medical personnel. 
• Although there are a lot of people around, you tend to socialize with only a select few. 
• You are never alone.
• You must deal with other people every day, even the ones you would like to avoid. 
• There is always activity around you. 
• Gossip abounds. 
• There is always someone around to take care of you if needed. 
• There is a camaraderie among the residents. 
• There are rules and regulations to follow. 
• You signed a contract and must live according to it.

Dealing with feelings

As you adjust to CCRC life, you will probably go through many different feelings. Some of the more common ones are:

• Loss. Feeling a loss of work relationships, the work environment, and a strong purpose to your days. 
• Loneliness. Feeling alone because you don’t know anyone around you, especially if you are not an out-going person who interacts with strangers and makes new friends. 
• Fear. Feeling fearful of meeting new people, having new experiences, and dealing with the new environment. 
• Freedom. Feeling free of no longer having to worry about yard work, home maintenance appliance breakdowns, etc. 
• Relief. Feeling relieved that your future is secure, and you don’t have to worry about who will take care of you as your health begins to fail. 
• Grief. Feeling grief after selling your home and leaving long-time neighbors behind. 

Dealing with grief

Grief plays an important part in a resident’s adjustment to CCRC living. Research (Ayalon and Green, 2012) has pointed out some of the way grief comes into play when adjusting to CCRC life.

Ambivalence and dialectics. Attitudes toward CCRCs show mixed feelings and uncertainty about its nature in society at large. Some terms used by residents to describe a CCRC are nursing home, golden age institute, golden cage, old age home, parents' home, hotel, club, country club, resort, institute, sanatorium, home of the millionaires, or simply, ‘this place.’ They feel a need to explain that this was a CCRC and different from a nursing home.” When residents begin using the term home when speaking about the CCRC, it symbolizes their successful adjustment to CCRC life.

• Present and anticipatory loss and grief. Residents feel grief and a sense of loss concerning their age and the aging process that caused them to need to move to a CCRC. Any problems they have with adjusting to life at the CCRC serve as a constant reminder of their vulnerabilities. The move to the CCRC is often portrayed as the ‘final move’ and the CCRC is viewed as a “place of death.” Residents are faced with their age and the aging process, which is intensified by the age-segregated nature of the CCRC. Residents regularly see the deaths of residents and friends and relatives outside the CCRC. When any resident falls or develops a serious illness, the word spreads quickly through the CCRC. As usual, bad news spreads faster than good news. 
• Seeing but not seeing the next stage. All residents are aware of the higher level of care offered at the CCRC; it was part of the reason for moving there, but some seem to ignore the fact. They avoid talking about it and try to avoid the facilities and their residents. Independent residents view these facilities as a potentially gloomy future that symbolizes the last step before death. 
• A metaphor to one's inevitable death. Many residents view their move to a CCRC as a metaphor that symbolizes a gradual death, as manifested by the physical death of their old home. These residents experience not only anticipatory grief in response to future losses, such as needing assisted living care in the future but also grief with present losses of the old home and much of its contents.  
• But I am different. Some residents do not associate themselves with the CCRC community and view the older, frailer residents as completely different from themselves. They think they are different and will not become like those other people. 
• But I am lucky. Some residents feel guilty about being dissatisfied with living at a CCRC. Living in a CCRC is considered a status symbol for affluent older adults and a place to enjoy stimulating social activities. As such, residents feel that instead of complaining, they should feel lucky for living there. 

You will get used to it

Like anything else, you will get used to living in a CCRC. After a few months, all the newness will have worn off, you will have tried everything the CCRC has offer, you will have learned all the ins and outs, what you can and can’t do, and what you like and don’t like, and you will have settled into a routine that’s comfortable for you.

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